Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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