I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
