Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
