Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
