I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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