he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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