just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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