I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
