So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
