don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
smell my finger.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
