I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
