If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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