roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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