Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
