There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
