I think I am morally bankrupt
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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