I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
