I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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