Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
