just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
