Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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