She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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