I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
