After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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