I am in a vortex of obligation.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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