Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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