hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
