I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
