Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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