Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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