And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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