Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
