Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize