windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
