dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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