Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
