The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
