Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
