Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
