im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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