bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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