What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
try to milk me bitch
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