ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
