can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
