Those balls look pretty dangerous.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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