You're my little dorito
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
