I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
