I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
only if we run a train.
done.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
