We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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