I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
