Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
